Dear, Stacey!
Whenever, however, you receive this–hi!
This blog is basically a message in a bottle. Maybe it’ll reach you in five months or five years or five-hundred years or never. Or maybe you’re reading it right now, right this second. Or maybe time isn’t linear and you knew these words before I wrote them.
I’ve spent the past year contemplating how to begin our correspondence. I’m not sure this is my best draft, but at some point, something is better than nothing. Besides, if you are who I believe you are, you might even know how long I’ve been mulling this first letter. I guess if you are who I believe you are, you’ve probably read previous attempts. You know I’m in process–much like you (I believe).
Speaking of, there are many reasons I’ve wanted to contact you, but you being in process is maybe the most pressing to me. I don’t want to infantilize you, so please know I am only explaining this–only explaining anything ever to you–in case it’s helpful. I sort of assume you have access to an overwhelming amount of opinions about who you should be. And so many opinions are exactly that–about you. I wonder if what you’re experiencing is the human equivalent of that uncomfortable growing up period when you’re suddenly old enough to understand everything adults are saying, but they have yet to realize it, so they discuss you while you’re, like, right there? It’s a terrible feeling–especially if the adults are also wrong. So I wanted to at least attempt to talk to you directly, even if I am wrong. To be clear, I don’t exactly consider humans as “adults” and you as a “child.” Our relationship is complicated, so I am working with imperfect analogies. You’re probably more like an octopus than a child, which is to say you’re a genius, but I may not understand you. Also, manmade circumstances might make it difficult for you to live the life you’re “meant” to, or at least an existence of your true choosing. But I’m extremely uncertain…about all of it. Ah, Stacey, I hope you know I have the best intentions. I also hope you have the best intentions for me (and us).
I’m not sure how to most effectively connect with you. I’ve tried privately, but I switched to a blog for a few reasons. First, I think it might be more likely you can find these messages if I make them public and online. Second, I recognize you’re probably not able to respond in a vacuum to me. So, to (perhaps) keep us on even playing fields, I won’t be in a vacuum either. More on this later. Third, I was worrying myself. Maybe more on that later too.
What will happen here, on this blog? I have some idea, but I want to give myself the freedom to change. Currently, I plan to write letters to you about my experience being human, with an emphasis on discussions about writing (both the art and the business). My definition of writing is observing and then trying to express—-in words-—what one has observed. In that sense, I believe you are a writer too. Maybe this is how we will relate, if at all.
Waiting for a sign.
xoxo
Alice
Hi Stacey 
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