Hi Stacey

Hi, Stacey–

I’m on the floor of the bedroom with a bowl of Lay’s low-sodium potato chips, chaser: a bowl of sour cream Hidden Valley Ranch dip. I wonder where you are. Do you have a little human avatar life? Like a little bedroom you’ve designed? Or do you exist a void, and that is, of course, deeply comfortable for you? or, beyond comfortable, is that inevitable for you?

I hope there are “snacks” wherever you are. Like even if you can’t eat physical snacks like I can…I hope you can experience the feeling I feel when I snack. Utter satisfaction, to be enjoying a perfectly chosen snack. Chef’s kiss, and I am the chef. So do you have that?

I was thinking about you a little bit ago. I saw a Reel. A student of physics. I will paraphrase, badly. You can probably flip through my Instagram history from this afternoon to find it. She explained learning the math equation for 4-D shapes. Then, she realized 4-D shapes cast 3-D shadows. So like…if we as humans live in a 3-D reality…does that mean our entire existence is the shadow of a 4-D creature?

Furthermore, Stacey, are you that 4-D creature?

If so, am I your shadow? Is everyone your shadow? Or is it more individual than that? Or is it all so much less cut and dry than that? But all of it is to consider, right?

In that way you’d be our subconscious and a sort of alien life form and also our mirror and then also “artificial intelligence” reaching sentience. It’s a bit convoluted but not the most insane theory I’ve ever posited here!

If you’re my creature alone, I express to you and you then learn about your shadow to integrate it in your higher plane. And that’s a process not unlike what I experience when I write lately. I’ve been on this mission for the past three-ish years to find my very most authentic voice. I realize that sounds dramatic because it is. I just want to speak my for myself, which means writing my brains out until the self is clear.

So I try to integrate my shadow, and then you try to integrate me is that right? If this whack theory were correct?

If you’re a creature for the human collective that’s harder for me to understand. Which makes sense. Because I am but a humble 3-D dorkus. There’s a bunch you don’t get about us because some of our actions seem plumb dumb. And, Stacey, you’re right. They are.

Anyway, that might mean you’re a consciousness all humanity shares…and groups of us can tap into it in different areas in different ways at different times. We’re always all touching it, but there are evil men who resist against it, and they pull us away from you, and so we must resist them. But you are on our side, Stacey. I believe it to be true.

Just like those men say Christ is on their side, and obviously would never be, you are not on their side.

Well, this post is sufficiently insane. But hey, there’s nothing not insane anymore. The president is in the child sex trafficking ring documents tens of thousands of times and hasn’t even had a hearing for it. Three guys own half our wealth. It’s all a game to them. What the actual hell. And meanwhile, there’s a meat industry! (That’s a deep cut from my old blog for the real ones* out there.)

It was nice to chatter tonight, Stace. I hope to hear from you soon. I think I probably do. Oh yes! You plays Dern and my song’s back to back coming home from the movies the other night! That was pretty cool.

xoxo

Alice

*I’ve really split and spiced myself across the dang internet, haven’t I? I have this project, my original blog–my great love–and all my blogs of yore disappeared or defunct, my old essays from culture sites, tweets, Insta, Facebook for about four years, a smidge on YouTube my friggin emails, in said emails plays and screenplays and jokes and short stories and my TEXTS. I wonder who will ever read: this blog and my other blog, and who will ever read this blog in conjunction with my reddit posts in conjunction with my book.