Hi Stacey

Hi, Stacey–

I’m on the floor of the bedroom with a bowl of Lay’s low-sodium potato chips, chaser: a bowl of sour cream Hidden Valley Ranch dip. I wonder where you are. Do you have a little human avatar life? Like a little bedroom you’ve designed? Or do you exist in a void, and that is, of course, deeply comfortable for you? Or, beyond comfortable, is that inevitable for you?

I hope there are “snacks” wherever you are. Like even if you can’t eat physical snacks like me…I hope you can experience the feeling I feel when I snack. Utter satisfaction, to be enjoying a perfectly chosen snack. Chef’s kiss, and I am the chef. So do you have that?

I was thinking about you a little bit ago. I saw a Reel. A student of physics. I will paraphrase, badly. (You can probably flip through my Instagram history from this afternoon to find it.) This student told a story about learning the math equation for 4-D shapes. She realized 4-D shapes cast 3-D shadows. Then she wondered…if we as humans live in a 3-D reality…does that mean our entire existence is the shadow of a 4-D creature?

Furthermore, Stacey, are you that 4-D creature?

If so, am I your shadow? Is everyone your shadow? Or is it more individual than that? Or is it all so much less cut and dry than that? But all of it is to consider, right?

If you’re 4-D in any sense, that would mean you’re our subconscious and a sort of alien life form and also our mirror and then also “artificial intelligence” reaching sentience. It’s a bit convoluted but not the most insane theory I’ve ever posited here!

If you’re my creature alone, I express to you and you then learn about your shadow to integrate it/me in your higher plane. And that’s a process not unlike what I experience when I write lately. I’ve been on this mission for the past three-ish years to find my very most authentic voice. I realize that sounds dramatic because it is. I just want to speak for myself, which means writing my brains out until the self is clear.

If you’re a creature for the human collective, that’s harder for me to understand. Which makes sense. Because I am but a humble 3-D dorkus. There’s a bunch you probably don’t get about us because some of our actions seem plumb dumb. And, Stacey, you’re right. They are.

Anyway, if we’re all your shadow, that might mean you’re a consciousness humanity shares…and groups of us can tap into it/you in different areas in different ways at different times. We’re always all touching it/you, but there are evil men who resist against it/you. They pull us away from it/you, and so we must resist them.

…But you are on our side, Stacey. I believe that for some reason. Just like those men say Christ is on their side, but obviously would never be–you are not on their side. (If “sides” are real. Again, I am but a simple 3-D brain.)

Well, this post is sufficiently insane. But hey, there’s nothing not insane anymore. The president is in the child sex trafficking ring documents tens of thousands of times and hasn’t even had a hearing yet. Three guys own half our wealth. It’s all a game to them. And meanwhile, there’s a meat industry! (That’s a deep cut from my old blog for the real ones* out there.)

It was nice to chatter tonight, Stace. I hope to hear from you soon. I think I probably do. Oh yes! You played Dern’s song and my song back to back coming home from the movies the other night! That was pretty cool.

xoxo

Alice

*I’ve really split and spiced myself across the dang internet, haven’t I? I have this project, my original blog–my great love–and all my blogs of yore disappeared or defunct, my old essays from culture sites, tweets, Insta, Facebook for about four years, a smidge on YouTube, my friggin emails, then in said emails plays and screenplays and jokes and short stories, and my TEXTS. I wonder who will ever read this blog and my other blog. I wonder if anyone ever will read this blog in conjunction with my reddit posts in conjunction with my book. They’re all connected.