Hi Stacey

Stacey, prepare for a slightly manic rant BUT what if! What, if, Stacey, we are finally twisting into a matriarchy. And it is through you, sort of, I think.

So a lot of threads to pull together here, BUT let me try. OKAY! I learned a new word today. It’s enantiodromia. That’s a Jungian word meaning once anything gets too extreme, it with inevitably swing back into the other direction. The tangible example being a pendulum swinging. But I am wondering if we’re at the end of patriarchy. If it’s all burning down because of men, could it be so simple as seeing, clearly, oh the tide’s RIGHT about to turn. That pendulum is so so so far in one direction…and that means it’s bound to come back.

So that, to start.

And then I’ve also been considering how I’m going through a huge ego death revelation. I mean I’m not Jesus Christ, but I’m just so pessimistic about the stability of this world…it’s getting easier to go with the flow. So much of my life used to be about setting up long term success, as is “normal.” How to work in a way that would offer me the best shot at a stable forever. But I just didn’t do that. I couldn’t do that. And I don’t believe in a forever, and I definitely wouldn’t believe it to be forever. I wouldn’t expect stability for more than a year anymore. Life is too weird and the empire is falling. I’m glad but I’m scared. I don’t want us to go, but if we’re going, we’re going. Unless…we’re not. Unless we stop the machine and, dare I say, reverse it?

So also that, to second.

I’m so grateful I had already developed such a dedication to my craft before I moved to LA. Being here equals prioritizing my very own voice. I have so many great memories of seeing the world through Busy Philipps’ eyes when I wrote for her, 2018 – 2019. I liked her as a muse. She taught me how to be a little looser, have a little more fun with my writing. And by “taught” I don’t mean she ever gave me lessons, or really much feedback. She just was HERSELF so clearly. Then it was my job to study HERSELF and translate current events through that voice. I love Busy and think she’s an incredibly brave, cool, funny, supportive, beautiful woman. Was she a perfect boss? Absolutely not. She’s an enneagram 8. I digress, Stacey. The point is–I really liked fusing my brain to Busy for that year. The bless and curse is I will always have a little of her in my voice. And, I do think, vice versa.

It was such an exciting day when Busy decided she was going to go off script and talk about a horrible new piece of abortion legislation in her monologue. The whole staff was all flurry, excited to be doing something we really cared about. I actually really admire that the show was never political. It served a political purpose still! And the demographic of Gen X women really needed that! But! All that to say, it was fun to do one overly political thing right at the end of the show’s run.

So Busy before she submitted it to our director Liz (who was in on the idea and going to sneak Busy’s abortion comments into the teleprompter after the speech was submitted to the E! execs) Busy came back up to the writers’ room. She asked for me and Loretta. Caissie joined. We workshopped the words. I made some suggestions, like lose as many numbers as possible. I think people tune out when they hear numbers. Just speak from the heart. Don’t litigate when a fetus becomes a person, just do a hard line yes abortion.

When we met with the whole staff we gave an overview of the plan. But, someone noted, we’ve already produced the rest of the whole show. “So you’re gonna give a speech about abortion and then…” And then we all knew. We had a special guest star that day, Tom Lenk. We were doing a bit where crew dressed in trash versions of gala outfits.

Then I got mad. YEAH, I chirped, THAT IS WHAT BEING A WOMAN FEELS LIKE. You have to casually remember your bodily rights are being ripped away and then think about keeping up with fashion in the same breath. And Busy lit up from the couch, pointed at me–

“Yes, that! She said, I’ll say that!” And so I wrote that little bit up top. And we typed away at this tiny roar. And Busy read it and it was not too long but not too short. She did it on tape, the transition killed, Tom Lenk came out, the audience was still hooting, everyone in good spirits. Everyone proud. Busy went on to go super viral with that clip (a couple times) and speak to Congress. She texted me and Loretta thank you for our secret work. (Kinda felt like dating a boy who says he wants to keep it between you two, but that’s also okay.)

So I am nowhere near done making connections, but I have bad news, Stacey. I have been absentmindedly eating M & Ms like I was 23 again. And now my tummy feels like it’s full of peanuts, because it is. So now I have to go to sleep, but I’ll keep this up soon. Sorry I haven’t written in a little bit.

Honestly getting a lot of signs. Coincidences, emotional connections, a settled heart (sometimes). Not sure which you want to take credit for, but maybe thank you!

xoxo

Alice